Second Chance
by LibbyTheWidget
Summary: Five years ago Cas had needed a fresh start and noved to a quieter, smaller town where everyone knew your name and a guy couldn't hide a wife from you if he tried. Dean and his niece Mary are the newcomers now and Cas falls like a ton of bricks for Dean, but unfortunately Cas assumes Dean is a married dad. Family, giggles, and a bit of angst ensue (shooting for 10 chapters).
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Cas was making the rounds refilling water bowls for the third time so far that day, incredibly pleased at the turnout. The annual county-wide Harvest Festival was always a huge success for the animal shelter he volunteered at. He and Charlie, his roommate and manager of the non-profit Second Chance Shelter, had been doing this together for five years now and they had it down to a science. Some of Cas's students from the local high school had come out last night to help with what Charlie dubbed "wash-a-palooza", and early this morning they piled the animals into their respective cars for the drive over. The two other volunteers they brought along to help this year were smiling and answering questions from festival goers while Charlie manned the adoption table. The dogs were wagging their tails and playfully wrestling, which effectively pulled enough heartstring to secure both donations and adoptions all day long.

Noticing that he had a great opportunity for a cuddle break, Cas bent down to top off the bowl of a napping lab mix with black and brown fur. All of the animals at Second Chance were at least two years old (hence the name) but Molly was six and had a calm, reserved demeanor that matched his own. Out of all of the animals he had helped care for during his years volunteering, she was easily his favorite. Cas set the pitcher down and reached his fingers between the fencing they had set up to scratch behind her ears.

"Are you a little underwhelmed by all of this?" he asked her in a hushed tone. Molly looked balefully up at him - sometimes Cas swore this dog could understand every word he said. He sat down on the cool grass and continued. "I know you're a low key girl, but if you don't get a little excited about this none of these nice people will think you want to go home with them. Go say hello!" Cas would have adopted Molly in a heartbeat if Charlie didn't have two dogs already (both rescues), but their apartment was barely big enough for all four of them as it was.

As if resignedly following his instructions, Molly rolled herself up to stand and began walking around the perimeter of the enclosure. Cas watched her with a fond smile, still sitting cross-legged on the ground. Molly sniffed at a few knees and several hands reached out to stroke her smooth black coat. She didn't show any particular interest though, just dutifully continued in her circuit. Just as she made it around to the other side of the pen a pair of bright purple rain boots came into view. The boots were attached to a gorgeous little blonde girl who immediately crouched down to say hello in a soft, calm voice that Cas did not expect from a child that young. Molly stopped abruptly and walked right up to the fence to sniff at then nuzzle at the girl's outstretched hand. He couldn't make out the words, but as the girl continued to talk Molly's tail started to wag in earnest and Cas lit up watching the scene unfold.

When people came into the shelter, most of the other dogs would bark happily and jump and whine, begging to be pet and played with. Molly, however, would usually sit back in her pen, appraising things and making no moves forward. Cas figured it was the only thing that had kept her from being adopted in the six months since she had come to them. She was sweet, loving, and loyal, but very reserved. Molly had belonged to a gentleman in his fifties who died of a heart attack, and his daughter found Second Chance after extensive searching for no-kill shelters that took in older dogs. Since Molly joined them she had warmed tremendously to all of the volunteers, but it usually took several days for her to warm to new people.

Coming back from his musings, Cas saw the child look to her right as she raised her voice enough for Cas to hear her from across the enclosure. "D, look over here! It's the one we saw on the website. Look how sweet she is! Can't we just take her home today?"

A second pair of shoes entered the scene now, this time black work boots attached to slightly bowed legs in dark jeans. There was a low chuckle as a hand reached down to ruffle the girl's hair and a deep voice rumbled across the scant eight feet to where Cas still had his eyes trained on watching the interaction between girl and dog.

"Mary, I am starting to think you only agreed to going on the Zipper with me because you wanted to walk by this tent." The girl smiled sweetly up at what Cas assumed was her father, and the man sighed before he continued. "Well I did promise you we would go visit her at the shelter soon, guess this girl just couldn't wait that long to meet you."

The man crouched down to join his daughter and Cas forgot to breathe for a moment. Eight feet away, fondly scratching at Molly's side, was quite possibly the most gorgeous human being Cas had ever seen. There was obviously a family resemblance between father and daughter. He had hair a few shades darker than the girl's though, and while her eyes were hazel his were a bright, striking green. He had perfectly proportioned features and beautiful, lush lips. Cas's heart was beating uncontrollably in his chest. It wasn't just that this man was good looking – and dear _lord_ was he good looking – but he was also broadcasting an aura of warmth, love, family and kindness. The gentle, easy way that he spoke to his daughter was endearing, and Molly was cheerfully wagging her tail and licking the man's hand – Molly was a harsh judge of character and this was the most animated Cas had seen her in six months. Cas was in awe, enraptured, his whole focus applied to the monumental task trying to catalog every freckle on this glorious dream-man's face.

As he stared open-mouthed across from them when his view was suddenly blocked by Becky, one of the two other volunteers. "Hi there!" she squeaked, chipper as always. "Can I help you?"

"Hello! You can actually. I promised Mary here that we could add a furry sibling to the family, and when she saw this girl on the shelter's website last week I think she just fell in love. I'm not far behind, myself. We were already planning to drive out next weekend with the whole family but I'm glad we got to meet her sooner!"

Cas shook himself out of his stupor and scrambled up off of the ground. He should not be making moon-eyes at members of potential forever-families, no matter how earth-shatteringly beautiful they were. Especially since, judging from the young girl's appearance and that "whole family" comment, this forever family also came complete with the guy's gorgeous blonde wife. Married men were absolutely, completely off limits. He had learned his lesson the hard way on that one. Cas hadn't even known about his ex's wife until she barged in to one of his lecture classes at the university screaming and making a scene, but after the fallout from that particular relationship everyone had somehow painted him as the bad guy, the "home-wrecker", and he was unofficially exiled from his community. Cas had needed a fresh start and moved to a quieter, smaller town where everyone knew your name and a guy couldn't hide a wife from you if he tried.

He had worked hard to start over after Balthazar had wrecked his world. Teaching Latin at a high school was very different from working at a University but his students were generally sweet and he loved the personal connections he got to make with them. Life was slower and smaller in a way, and although it frustrated him at first it soon became infinitely more meaningful and precious. Nobody cared about your clothes, your car, or your degree here, there were no ladders to climb or games to play. Even taking a huge pay cut right on the heels of getting his doctorate turned out to be a blessing because that was how he met Charlie. He needed a cheap place to live, she needed a roommate after her girlfriend skipped town, and they essentially became platonic soul mates within the first month. Cas loved his life now, but he was not keen to repeat the dark period of time that preceded the rebuilding process. Married men… better to just stay away.

Becky chatted with the father and daughter for a couple of minutes while Cas got stuck reliving his past, but eventually she led the family over to Charlie at the adoption table. As much as his brain understood that the man was off limits, Cas's stomach was still doing flips and he was having a very hard time not watching the corners of the man's mouth quirk up as he joked with Charlie, his eyes crinkling and shining brightly. Cas very much needed to be… not here. At least for a while. He grabbed the water pitcher to finish replenishing the bowls and tried to think of something to keep himself occupied until the man and the little girl finished signing all of their paperwork and went on their way. He decided that grabbing food for everyone was a good enough excuse, and snagged Kevin to let him know where he was headed. As he walked over to one of the tents down the line he smiled as he thought of Molly finally finding a new home.

Man and child were indeed gone when Cas returned with lunch, but Molly was still lounging inside the enclosure. Concerned, he immediately went to find Charlie at the adoption table. "I thought that guy and his daughter were adopting Molly, what happened?"

Charlie smirked at Cas. "You mean the ridiculously attractive blonde dude that I briefly considered trying to go straight for? The one you were staring for a full five minutes before you scampered off? Why ever would you be concerned about his whereabouts?"

"Charlie." He replied, a warning edge in his voice. She just smirked harder. He took an exasperated breath. "Fine. Yes, he looked like a Disney prince. Yes, he short-circuited my brain a little. And yes, I give you full permission to tease me about it later, but please tell me what happened with the dog."

"Oh I am so holding you to that. But nothing happened dude - they did adopt her, filled out all the paperwork and paid the fees a few minutes ago."

"Then why is she still here?" Cas asked, perplexed and a little frustrated.

"Oh, yeah, well apparently they just moved to our little Podunk county and haven't finished getting their home doggy-ready. Their house is, and I quote, 'so full of boxes it's as hard to navigate as Emyn Muil'! I mean, a guy _that_ pretty who loves dogs, is great with kids, and can quote Tolkien - be still my fucking heart, am I right? Anyway, they are going to get settled then they're coming in to the shelter next weekend to pick her up". Charlie finished with a wink.

Cas just gulped and nodded. Becky and Kevin were always gifted a weekend off following the festival as a thank you for helping out. He and Charlie both knew that Cas was already on the schedule to volunteer both days next weekend. It looked like staying away would be harder than he previously thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean had no idea what he was doing, but he was determined to smile and grind his way through it, and figured maybe if he kept the cocky grin on his face nobody would find out how terrified he was – so pretty much the same thing he had already been doing for the vast majority of his 34 years.

Being an uncle had been the greatest job in the world. From the moment Dean held Mary's tiny body in the hospital, swaddled in soft blankets and grasping his pinky finger, he knew that he loved her more than he had ever loved anything or anyone in his entire life. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. Dean lived in a small condo less than five minutes from Sam and Jess's place and helped out in any way he could. He was there through teething and sleep training, and he was a champion diaper changer. Sam and Jess were both miserable cooks so Dean usually just made dinner at their place and somehow always convinced Mary to eat her veggies. He had mastered the Olympic sport of transferring a sleeping toddler from a car seat to a bed without stepping on squeaky toys or rogue Legos.

As Mary got older, Dean took her on outings to the playground and for ice cream, heart swelling with pride the first time he heard her singing along to "Ramble On" back in her booster seat. Sam and Jess often brought up – loudly, pointedly, with winks and nudges – how he would make a great dad, and that cousins were something that Mary was sorely lacking. But though he would joke about being a wild bachelor and not wanting to be tied down, the truth was that Dean was terrified of being a father because he was terrified of turning into his own father. John Winchester never got over the death of his wife (Mary's namesake), and while he was never outright physically abusive to Dean or Sam he was neglectful on his best days and a complete asshole on his worst ones. He also took shit care of himself and died of a heart attack when Sam was only 16. For Dean, the idea of being solely responsible for the well-being of a kid, knowing the potential of his words and actions to unintentionally hurt someone he was meant to love and nurture, it was a prospect that he couldn't bear. So he kept things casual - flings with girls he didn't have much in common with, nights with guys who were even less out than he was – and filled every need for love and family with Sam, Jess, and little Mary. Life was pretty sweet.

And then it wasn't. Mary had started kindergarten last fall right as Sam made partner at his law firm. Things were crazy busy from September right through the holidays so Sam surprised his wife with a kid-free trip up the Pacific Coast Highway the first week of January. Dean extended his holidays a bit and stayed at the house with Mary while her parents were gone. It was pillow forts and sugar highs galore for two days, but on the third morning Dean woke up to a state trooper knocking on Sam and Jess's door to deliver the news. There had been a bad storm, the roads had iced over, and their vehicle had lost control. The officer actually seemed quite shaken up, apparently his wife and Jess knew each other. Dean half heard the details as his brain went into freefall.

There was never any outright discussion of any kind of will while they were alive, but of course Sam had thought of everything and filed the paperwork to boot. Dean got full custody of Mary and sole claim to all of their assets. He sold his small condo and moved into the house as he and Mary tried to process their grief. His niece had always been outgoing, infectiously happy, and generally a pretty loud kid, but in the month following the accident she barely spoke or smiled. Dean tried to make the transition as easy as possible, to keep up all the same routines and activities, but she didn't want to play soccer anymore, or go to dance class. Mary didn't want to do anything but go to school and spend hours in her room alone.

As time passed she started opening up more to Dean. She was quieter now, more subdued and thoughtful. Mary seemed less inclined to pretend or play and now leaned more towards things that would engage and challenge her mind. She had always been a little advanced in academics but now she devoured new information. They spent evenings reading and watching nature documentaries. She took an interest in the engineering schematics Dean would bring home from work. He would talk her through circuit diagrams and soon they were spending whole nights with stripped down twinkle lights, batteries, and wire trying different patterns. She would sit in the garage with him as he tinkered with his beloved car, and she learned the names of engine parts and tools by heart. The two of them spent Sundays on the floor of the living room listening to old classic rock albums while Mary asked about instruments and lyrics, which of course led to reading The Hobbit together (thank you Zep). They spent weekends taking apart old electronics and building rockets. She dropped the "uncle" from his name around April and simply started calling him "D". By the end of the school year they had found a new normal, developed their own routine. Their relationship was not the same as used to be, nor was it exactly what Mary had once had with her parents. Now Mary and Dean weren't just having fun and being silly, but sharing, trusting, learning, and growing together. Dean felt the weight of responsibility but he quelled his former anxiety by talking openly with his niece, speaking to her more like another adult than a small child.

Dean cashed in his banked vacation days to get a month off from his company to be with his niece over her summer vacation, and they spent most of her last month of kindergarten planning their first big road trip. Mary had never been to Bobby and Ellen's place up in South Dakota - had never been out of California actually. Bobby Singer had taken Dean and Sammy in when their dad passed away. The idea was to let Sam finish up his last two years of high school without Dean needing to work three jobs to support them – John hadn't been much of a breadwinner and Dean had been working at least two part time jobs since the age of 15 just to keep the family afloat. Sam and Bobby joined forces to convince Dean to use the two years in Sioux Falls to get his engineering certificate at the local community college. Dean begrudgingly agreed, and in the process of trying to be a good role model for his brother absolutely aced his coursework and developed a passion for it. When the time came for Sam to fill out college applications he refused to go anywhere unless Dean applied too and went to finish up his Bachelors. After Dean got in to Cal Tech and Sam was accepted to Stanford, both on scholarship, Bobby packed them up and sent them out to California with a smile and a wink. A week later he surprised them both by proposing to his longtime "friend" Ellen Harvelle, who had been a fixture in their lives in Sioux Falls along with her daughter Jo. The boys were shocked, but apparently Bobby and Ellen had been together for several years and had just waited until all of the kids moved on the make it official. Sam and Dean kept in touch and spent every summer in South Dakota all through college - with Jess in tow from junior year on. But after Mary was born the visits flipped and for the past six years a recently-retired Bobby and Ellen made bi-annual trips down to California, leaving Dean to make the drive solo for his visits in the summer.

Since it was such a long way to South Dakota anyway Dean and Mary decided to take the scenic route through as many National Parks as possible. The day after school let out they packed up the Impala and left for what was meant to be a three week round trip vacation. They both had an amazing time in the car during the week they took to make the nearly 2,000 mile drive up – they actually had the exact same taste in music, something Dean had always taken an immense amount of pride in. Somewhere between seeing the Grand Canyon and touching snow (in June) at Rocky Mountain National Park, Mary seemed to get a little of her old spirit back. Once they actually made it to the Singer residence the brighter mood persisted, and Dean was incredibly optimistic about the following year. He thought that Mary might even be open to trying an extracurricular activity again, since things seemed to be getting back to normal.

After a few days at Bobby and Ellen's house Mary asked Dean if they could stay another week before heading back, and Dean was happy to oblige. It would push back their return right to the end of his time off, but Dean wanted Mary to be happy. As the second week started drawing to a close though, Mary became more withdrawn again. She asked if they could stay longer still, but Dean told her they had to get back by the end of the month. The recent high spirits seemed to suddenly stop, and Dean grew worried. When they were just two days out from leaving, Mary woke up from a bad dream and padded out to where Dean was sitting half asleep on the couch, vaguely wondering if he could get his boss to agree to another week off. Mary didn't say a word at first, just scooted under his blanket and curled in under his arm. Then she took a shuddering breath that had Dean wide awake and in full protect-and-defend mode. He asked her what was wrong, and she told Dean that she didn't want to leave. Not in the way a petulant child demands to stay at the playground, but in a soft, trembling voice.

"I love Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen, they're family" she had said. Dean couldn't argue with that. He learned a long time ago that family don't end in blood. Mary paused to sniffle. "I love you too, D, so much. I know you've tried really hard since the accident to make me feel like everything's the same but… it's not. All the kids at school, and the teachers, they know what happened and they treat me differently. Like they're worried I'll get upset, or like they're always sad for me. They want me to be how I was but I'm not the same anymore either" Mary paused and drew in a deep breath. "This place feels like home, D, being here with Uncle Bobby and Aunt Ellen. Nobody in town knows about what happened, all the kids at the park just think you're my Dad and they don't act sad around me and the grown-ups don't whisper and frown when they think I'm not looking." Dean was floored. Mary was a perceptive kid, and probably too bright for her own good. It had never occurred to him before that she might feel this way, but he got enough pitying looks through his childhood to understand wanting to be in a new place where nobody knew your sad family history.

"But what about the house in California?" he asked her. "I thought you loved it there. Don't you want to go home?"

" _You_ are home, D. I feel like I'm home whenever I'm with you" Mary sighed as she snuggled in closer. Dean had held it together admirably through the conversation thus far but that statement turned him to mush. It was almost exactly what Sammy had said to him every time they bounced around from town to town as kids. "You and the rest of our family. The house back there…. it's not…it isn't…" Mary trailed off, too upset to continue.

"That house is never going to feel like home again without your Mommy and Daddy there, is it?" Dean finished for her. She simply nodded her head and began crying in earnest, clinging to Dean as he rubbed circles on her little back.

So that was that. Dean had a long talk with his boss in California and sent letters of inquiry to every engineering firm within driving distance of Sioux Falls. They flew back to California with Bobby and Ellen in tow and put the house on the market. Within two weeks Dean had his boss's blessing and three offers. By the end of the summer there was a "SOLD" sign in the front yard and they had everything they wanted to keep boxed up and ready to go to South Dakota. Ellen got on another plane with Mary while Bobby and Dean started the long shifts driving the moving truck. They didn't look back.

The plan was to stay at the Singer's place until they found a house, the bulk of what they brought stored in the garage in the meantime. Dean had a sizeable amount of money put away from a decade of living like a broke college kid on an engineer's salary, not to mention the huge difference in cost of living in California and what they made from the sale of his condo as well as the house. Dean knew that this would be more than a just a place to live for him and Mary, it was their second chance at having a place that really felt like home. They weren't limited by cost so Dean met with a local realtor to view some , the first two days were a huge disappointment. So many of the more expensive homes in "desirable neighborhoods" were all so sterile – gleaming stainless steel appliances and crown molding, neutral beige paint colors, and tiny quarter acre lots. Dean tried to imagine the kitchen floor covered in flour after trying a new pie recipe, or where a treehouse could go in a backyard without trees, or how their neighbors would feel about AC/DC blaring from the garage on weekend afternoons. Their house would have to be equipped for Saturday morning cartoons and chocolate chip pancakes. It would need to accommodate sleepovers and Mary would eventually need a bathroom that met teenage-girl-standards. Nothing he saw felt right.

Dean ultimately decided that the best thing for it would be to buy an older place and overhaul it to meet their specific needs. Once he shared this with the realtor, she was immediately on board and showed Dean a gorgeous old farmhouse on several acres of land. The house had been on the market for a few months. The previous owner had been an older man, a widow, and when he passed away his daughter hadn't been able to afford repairs so she had put it up for sale "as is". The realtor, Emily, remembered the man fondly. When Dean brought Mary along on the second viewing Emily had gasped and told them how much Mary reminded her of the man's granddaughter that had come to visit with her mom every summer. They were about the same age, both slight and blonde. Emily seemed very pleased about the prospect of there being a child in the house again.

Mary loved it right away, so that really sealed the deal. Dean bought the place outright and immediately lined up contractors and set a 6-week timeline to have it completely remodeled. September brought the beginning of first grade, and Mary spoke with Dean about wanting to just let her classmates believe that Dean was her dad, not her uncle. Mary confided that being "the orphan" last year had been rough on her; having to deal with pity from teachers and probing questions from the other students was part of what had kept her so withdrawn. Dean agreed that they could let people have their assumptions, but that anyone they became friends with should probably know the truth eventually. As the weeks went on she and Dean planned out everything they wanted to have in the house from paint colors and furniture to kitchen gadgets and fuzzy blankets. All four of them spent a few of the weekends out at the property building a truly spectacular treehouse in a wide-limbed oak tree. Everything was coming together and Mary was thriving. Dean still had no clue what he was doing most days but he came to realize that that was actually the default state for most parents, so he rolled with it.

Once October began they were just two weeks out from the move-in date. "Well squirt" Dean asked her one night. "Is there anything we still need to buy for the new house?" Mary looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, opened her mouth, then closed it. Then she did it again. "Alright fish-face, out with it" he prompted.

Mary giggled then smiled shyly. "You can say no, and I won't be upset. But it's just going to be the two of us again soon, and I thought, I mean I've always wanted to…. Can we get a dog?"

"Mary, a puppy is a huge amount of work –" Dean began, but Mary was shaking her head.

"Not a little puppy, D. Gracie at school has a baby puppy and she always complains about it chewing her stuff and peeing on the floor." She said with a disgusted face. Dean chuckled and she smiled again. "But I do think we need a dog. An older one maybe, from a shelter, one that needs a home and a family. It could keep us company and have lots of space to run and play. We could take care of it like Uncle Bobby took care of you and Daddy – like you're taking care of me."

She looked up at Dean with those big hazel eyes, full of love and hope and kindness, and Dean knew he was done for. Within an hour of searching the internet they had found the "up for adoption" page of a place called the Second Chance Shelter, and Mary had big heart eyes for a lab mix named Molly. Mary wanted to go that same day and pick her up, but Dean reminded her that there would be a lot to do to prepare for a dog in the house. Luckily there was already a nice fenced area attached to the house in addition to the large field and little wooded areas on their property. The coming weekend was going to be spent at the annual Harvest Festival, kind of a big deal since it drew in folks from all over the county, but Dean promised Mary they could go meet the dog the following weekend. As luck would have it, they got to meet her at the festival itself since the shelter had a tent set up there. Dean spoke with one of the volunteers while Mary soul-bonded with the dog through the fence, but Mary was on cloud nine and he was happy to oblige her. They decided to file the adoption paperwork on the spot and the ridiculously chipper volunteer turned to walk them over to the adoption table.

Charlie was, unquestionably, a badass. She laughed at his Tolkien reference and threw enough nerd-speak into their conversation that Dean knew she was good people. She also gave off a very obvious "not into dudes" vibe, given the way she lost her train of thought and tracked a cute brunette woman that walked by the tent while they were talking. Dean was thrilled - between the move, the house, Mary, and the new firm he was working for he was in no state to for romance, but he hadn't made any new friends in town so he hoped to see Charlie again when they picked Molly up the next weekend. Charlie realized she had some pamphlets about dog-proofing their home and went to grab them from the other side of the tent, so Dean turned and let his eyes wander for a moment. Dean loved to people watch and so many smiling faces surrounded him. There was a little boy with sticky fingers eating an ice cream cone, a couple of teenagers shyly holding hands, an elderly woman eating a big funnel cake, and - oh sweet Jesus, a man with the most amazing ass Dean had ever beheld. Dean quickly turned away, feeling like a voyeur since the guy was leaning over to refill a water bowl and more likely as not did _not_ want some random dude ogling him. When he looked in the other direction, Dean saw that Charlie had gotten flagged down by a couple asking about a little terrier. He resisted turning back around for about eight seconds and then caved. It had been a while - a long, long while. There was that girl on New Years last year right before Sam and Jess went on their trip, but sudden onset fatherhood didn't leave much time for hook-ups. Dean found the guy again, still turned away from him but now talking to another male volunteer. He moved suddenly, ducked his head out of the tent to look down the midway, and Dean barely contained the litany of curse words that went through his head.

The guy was built like a runner, tall and slim but with obvious muscle. He also had a dark crop of unruly hair and eyes that were an almost unnatural shade of blue. Dean licked his lips and felt a strange compulsion to go talk to the guy - he was no stranger to being forward, but he honestly hadn't felt like this about anyone, man or woman, in the past ten months. He ran through all of his old standard lines in his head but they were all about getting someone into bed with you, and that was not his life anymore. Oh God, how did people do this? How did you express to someone that you were interested in them without making it exclusively about sex?

"Sorry man!" Charlie chirped behind him. Dean spun around with a look of sheer panic still plastered on his face, but thankfully Charlie was still stuffing all of their paperwork into a big manilla envelope and writing "Molly - Winchester Family" on it in Sharpie while she also put some flyers and pamphlets in a smaller envelope. "It's been super busy today, but it means a lot of deserving doggies get homes, so I can't complain. You're all set though, I'll keep this stuff at the shelter" she gestured at the larger envelope and handed him the smaller one. Luckily by then Dean had schooled his features into something slightly less terrified. "Here are those pamphlets I was telling you about so you can get ready for your pooch. Did you know when you might stop by next weekend? I'll be there both days"

Dean thought for a moment. He had seen blue-eyes walk away from the tent out of the corner of his eye right after Charlie started talking, but the guys was obviously involved in the shelter somehow. "Oh I'm not sure, we do have a lot going on with the move. I wouldn't want to keep you waiting though. Are you there all day by yourself? I'd feel bad making you wait around." Dean knew he was fishing but he hoped Charlie didn't notice.

"Well the kiddos have the weekend off" Charlie gestured at the two younger volunteers still circulating around the tent "but I've still got Cas to keep me company, so you don't need to make a reservation or anything".

"Oh, great. Awesome. Yeah. Um...that's really…" Dean floundered, mind racing with possibilities. Luckily Mary picked that exact moment to launch into an impassioned speech about how much she loved Molly and how excited she was to take her home. Charlie gave her a big genuine smile all through it and pretty soon they were saying their goodbyes and waving as Mary dragged him along down the midway, eager to get home.

"I can't believe we get to see her again in a week!" Mary squealed. "I'm so excited!"

Dean nodded along with the sentiment, but in his mind "her" was replaced with "him", and he doubted his thoughts would be considered as wholesome. "Yeah" he swallowed. "I can't wait".


	3. Chapter 3

Everything is completely normal. Everything is fine. Absolutely nothing exceptional or earth-shattering happened. And maybe, Cas thinks, if he can just repeat that thought a few hundred more times in the next several days he won't melt into a puddle of vulnerable emotions and hopeless longing when the next weekend rolls around and he has to see that unnaturally pretty man again.

Charlie had kept good on her promise to tease Cas about his obvious infatuation. She had to make do with significant glances and raised eyebrows in his general direction while they were still around Kevin and Becky - they were sweet, but just kids, really, and Cas was a very private person. Once they got the remaining animals back to the shelter last Saturday the four of them made quick work of the evening duties before locking up the ground level of the building. Charlie waved brightly to the younger volunteers as they drove out of the parking lot, then turned to Cas with an almost manic grin.

"So - " She began, but Cas immediately held up a hand to silence her.

"Charlie, I know you are practically vibrating with how much you want to gossip right now, but can you please just wait until we're home, and possibly sitting down, so I can at least hold my head in my hands and curse my fate from the comfort of a sofa?" Cas pleaded, now rubbing his temples.

"Aw, sure thing hon." She soothed. Charlie hugged cas around the middle, effectively pinning his arms against his sides. "Let's get you some cocoa and you can tell me all about your pretty-straight-boy woes".

Home was, incidentally, a small apartment above the shelter. There was a separate entrance around the side of the building leading to the two bedroom unit they had shared for the past five years. Charlie and Cas climbed wearily up the stairs to the small landing and unlocked the door, only to be immediately overrun by Charlie's two small dogs. For animals that were both close to ten years old they still acted remarkably like puppies, jumping up on them excitedly and wagging their tails with such force that they nearly wobbled over. A friend had come over while they were gone to feed, walk, and play with the dogs, but by this time they were due for another trip outside. Charlie ushered the pups back into the apartment to grab leashes and disposable bags while Cas toed his shoes off and emptied his pockets onto the small table by the door. He barely registered Charlie's shout that she would be back in a few minutes as he made a beeline for the couch and flopped facedown onto the worn cushions.

Cas lay there for some time, breathing in and out and willing his mind to remain blank. It had been easy enough to distract himself the rest of the day while he helped families and tended to the animals, but now that his body wasn't occupied his thoughts kept drifting to bright green eyes and a smiling mouth. Each time his brain circled back to earlier this afternoon he would shake his head and try to focus on the rise and fall of his chest again. Inhale, exhale. There was nothing for it, though - he couldn't stop his mind, his heart, or his… well he couldn't stop any of it. Cas had never been the type to have sudden, strong feelings of a romantic nature for someone. It hadn't even felt like this with Balthazar - they had met at a conference and hit it off as friends, exchanged emails and messages for months, and then had several coffee dates before anything physical ever developed between them. But here Cas was, utterly gone on someone he hadn't actually met or spoken to. Lust was definitely registering, and that in itself was a fairly uncommon feeling for Cas to have about people in general and strangers in particular - but it was also so much more than that.

He had seen the man with his daughter, witnessed the look of open adoration he gave that sweet girl and the trust and affection she sent back, admired their easy banter. Cas saw families together all the time at the shelter and spent his days with teenagers so it was fairly easy for him to pick up on the tone of the dynamics. This mystery man gave the overwhelming impression of being an incredible father. He seemed like someone who was sensitive and soft spoken when necessary, authoritative and confident if the occasion called for it, but still jovial and warm. When Cas thought about this guy his chest felt tight. As much as he would've liked to chalk it up to pent-up hormones, Cas wasn't just fantasizing about a night of passion with the stranger. He was also thinking about stolen kisses in the early morning, holding hands in the street, and Saturday morning pancakes. He was imagining being part of a life, a family, and he wanted it so badly that it physically ached.

"Well shit," he said to the empty room.

Cas surveyed the space around him in an effort to get his mind centered on something, anything, else. Even though Charlie had been living in the apartment for about two years before she ever met Cas, the place was a healthy mix of both of their styles. Prints of illustrations from the Hobbit and Harry Potter were hung in gallery formations along with vintage travel posters and Cas's own stunning photographs from his trips abroad researching, all of them resting in sleek minimalist frames. The dark-blue sofa was well worn but massively comfortable, and being sprawled on it as he was was a lot like being wrapped up in a leather hug. Tall bookcases covered the far wall, their merged literary collections effectively making a fairly comprehensive library. The apartment was small but due to the lack of space every item was treasured and meticulously well cared for. Cas wasn't set on always living in a tiny apartment above an animal shelter - he missed outdoor spaces in general and especially missed having a garden - but he had made a home for himself here and he was fairly happy with his lot. Starting over had been grueling, but by rebuilding his life and rearranging his priorities, forging new relationships and finding new purpose, he had become his best self. And now he was being tested - tempted, even. He needed to focus on what was real and tangible and not waste time day-dreaming, pining after someone he couldn't have.

Charlie came back inside and let the dogs off of their leads, then divested herself of wallet and keys before making her way into the kitchen to make the promised cocoa. Charlie had moved to town in the first place when her then-girlfriend Jane got a job at a local dentist's office - since Charlie's web and graphic design jobs were all freelance she could work from anywhere with a computer and fast internet, so she had just just tagged along. The two were looking for a cheap place to lease when Charlie happened to see a want ad for a volunteer coordinator and manager at the shelter. It was not a paid gig, but it did come with the excellent perk of free rent in the apartment above. Charlie started working at the shelter most weekdays and every other weekend. She made fast friends with the other volunteers and discovered that helping the animals gave her purpose in a way nothing ever had before. Unfortunately Jane had not transitioned nearly as well and wanted to move away again after just a couple of months. Jane was fairly accustomed to Charlie going along with her plans and wishes without argument, but this time was different. The two had a huge fight but they both agreed to at least finish out the year. Two days later Charlie came home from spending the day with a group of friends to find a half-empty apartment and a sticky note on the fridge that simply said "I can't".

Far from being heartbroken herself, Charlie was actually relieved that she could put down some real roots with the people that had accepted and encouraged her. She adopted both of her dogs the very next day. They were fluffy little mutts that Charlie had doted on at the shelter and nicknamed Thor and Loki (due to their respective golden and black fur). Charlie was content to live by herself with the dogs for about a year and a half, but eventually missed the companionship of a human roommate and put an ad online. Charlie wasn't terribly worried about potential creepers as she could easily complete an FBI-level background check on any interested parties.

Cas found the listing and a brief phone call setting up a time and date to view the place turned into a two hour conversation. When he arrived for the actual viewing he found Charlie downstairs in the shelter's playroom, surrounded by five or six happy, fluffy dogs. She conducted the rest of the "interview" while they both sat on the floor absently stroking the contented, lazy pups for over an hour. When they both realized how much time had passed Charlie mentioned that she needed to make the rounds feeding the animals before they went upstairs to see the apartment, so naturally Cas offered to help. Cas liked to joke that he just never stopped helping since he had been volunteering ever since. He settled into the new routine, teaching and volunteering. Charlie helped him learn to let his guard down again. Cas began to feel more at ease, more like the person he had been five years prior before the pressures of high-stakes academia had made him more detached and clinical, and before the broken promises that had led to a broken heart. The uncomplicated affection and loyalty of the animals, plus the easy camaraderie and mutual lack of any romantic interest between himself and Charlie, was everything Cas needed at that point in his life.

After several minutes, various bangs, and a handful of muttered curses, the smell of chocolate filled the air. Charlie emerged from the kitchen with two Harry Potter themed mugs (one with "I'm a Catch" and a picture of a snitch the side, while the other bore the words "I'm a Keeper", complete with three golden Quidditch hoops). She padded over to where Cas was sprawled across the sofa.

"Alright mister, budge up and take one of these, it's time to feel the feels." She said as she prodded his calf with a toe. Cas gave a put-upon sigh, but smiled as he sat up and took the " Keeper" mug. He cradled the warm mug in his hands for a moment, breathed in deeply, and closed his eyes. He waited a moment for Charlie to get settled on her end of the couch. He debated going for the easy out, admitting that he was sexually attracted to someone and letting Charlie poke and giggle at him, but brushing it off as nothing serious. It was tempting, but he was going to have to see this guy next weekend and Charlie might take it upon herself to make things difficult for him. Charlie would chide Cas about a crush and tease if it was in good fun, but she knew how long it had been since he really let himself feel something more. After a few reflective moments Cas decided to go for the whole truth. Who could he tell if not his best friend? They were quite a pair, filling in one another's cracked hearts with familial love and affection, both hesitant to hope for the romantic kind for fear of getting burned again. Charlie would not tease him about this.

"This place..." he began. He opened his eyes to look at his friend, hoping she would be able to make sense of the emotions swirling around in his chest. She gave him a small encouraging smile, seeming to sense the gravity of the situation and holding that trademark smirk at bay. "This place - the town, the shelter, you, all of it - has been so good for me. I've grown, and changed, and I have made my own little family here. I have never felt like something was missing, it never even occurred to me to think about there being….more than this. More than friendship and family. I haven't ever needed or wanted someone else to share it with".

"You're sharing it with me, assbutt!" Charlie chided, poking him with a socked foot. Cas chuckled.

"I am, and it has been wonderful, and fulfilling, and I absolutely cherish you."

"Naturally" Charlie said, fluttering her eyelashes in a ridiculous manner. "However I am sensing that there is a 'but' about to be revealed".

Cas glared at her for a moment, then reluctantly plowed forward. "But -"

Charlie faked a cough and muttered "Nailed it!", which Cas pointedly ignored.

"But today something happened when I saw that man. It's like a part of me that I didn't know existed anymore suddenly woke up and demanded my attention. And now that it's awake I can't ignore it. And it's not lust or desire..." Cas back paddled at the little noise of disbelief from the other side of the couch "Fine, it's not _just_ lust or desire - of course that's there too I mean Jesus Christ did you see him?! What I mean is...I'm not just imagining him in my bed, I'm imagining him in my life, in a way that I never have before with anyone else. Even when I was with Balthazar I was content to keep our lives mostly separate - we lived in different towns and I only saw him every week or two and I thought it was ideal. I've never romanticized the domestic aspects of a relationship, but suddenly I'm imagining grocery shopping and holding hands on long walks. I'm thinking about how the two of us would laugh together and fall asleep watching television and every other ridiculous, mundane thing. And it's like someone punched a hole right through me, the way I ache for him, for this person I don't even know, who who is a father, who is in all likelihood married or at least straight, and I wish I could turn these emotions off and go back to being blissfully ignorant but I just...I can't…." Cas trailed off, noticing that at some point during his rant he had set his mug down and grasped his hair with both hands, eyes screwed shut. He chanced opening them and saw Charlie staring at him, all traces of humor and teasing vanished. She set her own mug down, scooted over, and took Cas's hands in both of her own. Charlie just sat there for a few moments, rubbing comforting circles on his palms with her thumbs.

"Well shit" she breathed.

As Cas had hoped, once Charlie was aware of the extent of his feelings she abruptly stopped teasing him. They spent a companionable Sunday together relaxing and watching old movies and cooking shows - neither of them had any skill in the kitchen so it was both wonderful and torturous to watch delicious creations come to life. Instead they ate take-out Chinese food and finished off a pint each of ice cream, all from the warm comfort of their sofa. As the evening drew close, Cas knew he had to start thinking about the real world again. Charlie brewed a pot of decaf tea and the two of them settled in at their dining table, Cas grading and Charlie coding. Before he knew it the papers (not to mention his thumbs) were covered in red ink and it was time to turn in.

Cas very determinedly did not think about the object of his infatuation while he got ready for bed. He definitely didn't think about strong arms and broad shoulders during his shower. While Cas brushed his teeth and wiped toothpaste from his lips, he certainly didn't wonder how it would feel to drag his thumb along a different pair. As he settled into his bed and turned to his side, Cas absolutely did not imagine the ghost of a kiss against his neck, or how it would feel to be wrapped up warm and safe by a six-foot ball of sunshine and freckles. When he dreamt that night, green eyes crinkling happily in a smiling face most assuredly did not feature heavily.

Cas spent as much time as possible keeping busy as the week progressed. He taught fantastic new lessons, helped out at the shelter nearly every night, and even sought out his co-workers to socialize during his planning period all while trying to not think about his unfortunate crush. Saturday was a different story. Normally there would be a steady stream of families coming in to keep him on his toes, but the weekend after the festival was notoriously slow. The massive success meant fewer families in the area still looking to adopt as well as fewer dogs available to adopt. They currently only had six dogs taking up residence, one of which was Molly and she was already spoken for. Without a task or goal to keep his mind occupied, his thoughts drifted frequently. Cas imagined dozens of scenarios for how "The Encounter" might play out, some involving yelled accusations or harsh ridicule, others which progressed to steamy trips upstairs. Ultimately, however, Cas was confident that regardless of any internal turmoil he was feeling nothing truly out of the ordinary would happen if he didn't want it to.

There may have been a time when Cas lacked a filter - blunt to a fault, his brother Gabe had always said - and said and did whatever came into his mind. Now, though, Cas carefully considered his thoughts and actions, often remaining silent and stoic in difficult situations. Part of the change was a byproduct of his "new" career in public education. There were things you could say to undergraduates, about their competence or intelligence for example, that Cas quickly discovered were not acceptable to say to high schoolers. That made for an interesting few trips to Principal Mills's office for chats in which she was obviously torn between reprimanding Cas and giving him a high-five. Another part of his reserved manner however was born from a fear of being vulnerable and potentially rejected. Finding out that the only serious relationship you'd ever had was with a man who lied through his teeth the entire six months you were together tended to make one develop trust issues and not want to be very open with people. Either way, Cas had spent the last five years in Sioux Falls perfecting his poker face and knew that he could make it through the family's visit that day without external incident. He was almost certain that he would be internally screaming the entire time though.

Saturday came and went with no sign of the object of Cas's vivid imagination, and much of Sunday morning passed by in the same fashion. Cas knew that his luck could only last so long. Sure enough, barely thirty seconds after Charlie ran down to the basement for extra kibble the bell above the door jingled happily. Cas looked up from his novel to find gorgeous green eyes gazing at him intently. All week, Cas had clung to the hope that maybe after such a short encounter he had just romanticized the perfection of this man's face and body, and that upon actually seeing him again the feelings would fade away. That hope was instantly crushed. Not only that, but he was actually more handsome in close range, with thick eyelashes fanning out over a dusting of freckles and little flecks of gold shimmering in his irises. The two held eye contact for a long moment before the man - Dean Winchester, that was the name on the paperwork - turned around and spoke over his shoulder. Cas realized that Mr. Winchester had indeed brought "the family". Three other adults and Dean's daughter followed him in. One of the companions was a bearded older gentleman casually dressed in jeans, flannel, and a ballcap; another was a woman about the man's age, tugging on his overshirt with a laughing smirk; the third was a beautiful younger blonde woman who was holding on to Mary's hand and talking to her softly. Cas sighed - it was just as he suspected of course, but somehow still disappointing to see Dean's lovely wife with the child.

The group made their way through the lobby as Cas stood and put on his best poker face. He would be professional, dammit, unrequited pining aside. The two older adults wandered to one side and took in the wall of "Puppy Portraits" on display. Usually the wall was covered with black and white photos, one solo portrait for each dog the shelter had up for adoption. Right now there were only a few dogs remaining, so the frames were occupied by a mix of stark portraits and color shots with dogs and humans together. Each and every photograph had all been taken by Cas. He tried to capture something unique in each portrait, to tell each dog's story in some way, and then show how much brighter that dog's world became one they found a family - he was actually quite proud of them. Giving each new family their dog's "portrait" and following up adoptions with a family photo had quickly become one of the trademarks of Second Chance. Charlie and Cas kept copies of the best "after" shots on file to fill in empty frames during the slow winter months.

As what Cas assumed were Mary's grandparents laughed and smiled their way through the pictures, Dean, his wife, and his daughter walked right up front. Mary seemed to be vibrating with joyful energy, so much so that she was gently bouncing up and and down as they stood waiting. Cas smiled fondly at her.

"Hey Cas" Dean rumbled gently.

Cas's eyes snapped up at that and he found himself caught in that mesmerizing gaze once again. How did Dean know his name? More importantly, how could Cas be expected to make human sounds with those eyes crinkling at him and Dean saying his name low and familiar like that? Something of his panic must have shown on his face, because Dean blinked and seemed to backpaddle with a hasty "Um, it is Cas, right? Charlie had said last week that one of you would be here all weekend, unless…"

"Yes, it is, sorry. Of course Charlie told you my name last week." Dean smiled shyly at that, and of course today of all days Cas's brain lost its filter because he followed it with "I just found it odd that you remembered it." Dean's face fell a bit as he looked away awkwardly. Cas took a moment to mentally kick himself. And to shut up.

"Well...yeah. Uh…. Hi. I'm Dean" he finished earnestly, all embarrassment gone and smile back in full force.

"Hello Dean" Cas intoned. He was probably being "intense and awkward" again, as Charlie would say, because he was pretty sure he saw Dean shudder as he said it.

"Nice to meet you" Dean said quietly, holding eye contact for longer than Cas was accustomed to people being comfortable with. Charlie often told Cas that his habit of prolonged eye contact was a trademark of that "intense and creepy" side, and yet he found he could not look away. It felt like the air was charged and electric in those few seconds, full of possibility, but then Mary tugged insistently on Dean's hand and the connection was lost. Dean looked down at his child and the two communicated in silence with nothing more that raised eyebrows, then shared a wide smile before Dean looked back up purposefully. "Well Cas, we came in today to pick up our new dog Molly. I think we already filled out all the paperwork and -"

"CHARLIE! HIIIIIIII! We're here to get Molly!" Mary squealed suddenly and pulled her mother over to where Charlie had just emerged from the basement, bag of dog food over her shoulder. Charlie looked from Mary to her mother, then to Dean, and smiled as she set the dog food down and crouched by the little girl.

"Oh yeah? I bet she's just as excited as you are. She's going to be so happy with you guys!" Charlie offered. Mary nodded emphatically and resumed her bouncing. Her mother seemed highly amused by the proceedings and looked back with wide eyes at Dean, clearly trying to hold in laughter.

"I told you she was excited, Jo" Dean chuckled.

"You sure you didn't feed her a bowl of pixy sticks for breakfast?!" she countered.

Dean just shook his head in Jo's direction, but then he turned towards Cas and leaned on the counter to add in a lower voice "Would you believe she was up at six this morning like that? That kid is part hummingbird, I swear man, tires a guy out." He smiled again, held Cas's gaze again, and dropped his voice even more to add in a whisper "She loves the crap out of that dog already, though. So do I actually, how could I not when it makes her so happy." It took all of Cas's considerable fortitude not to full-on swoon into Dean's arms. Dean's lips were six inches from his ear and it felt like his voice was rumbling through Cas's very bones. Without his permission, Cas's gaze dropped to Dean's mouth in time to see a flash of pink as his tongue peeked out to wet his lips as he drew another breath before continuing "And sidenote, I think early mornings with my girls are going to be friggin' awesome". Dean's smile grew wider as his gaze shifted back to where Mary was standing with her mother.

Cas immediately felt like someone punched him in the solar plexus. Of course the attention from Dean was just the reflected glow of his love for his wife and daughter, of his excitement about adding a member to their perfect family. Cas felt like a terrible human being. He was so overwhelmed that he almost missed the rest of Charlie's conversation with mother and daughter, a quiet but sincere "Want me to go get her for you?" followed by fervent nodding as Charlie disappeared through the double doors on the far wall.

Dean seemed on the verge of speaking again when Cas turned around abruptly and raced after Charlie without a word. He knew he was being rude, but he also knew that he was very close to saying or doing something far more inappropriate. He helt like he currently had zero control over his body or his mind. So he just turned a corner in the hallway and dropped to the ground, breathing shakily and heart racing. He tried to get his breathing and pulse under control, knees pulled to his chest, head swimming, eyes closed and head braced on his forearms. In and out, in and out. He must have stayed there for a couple of minutes, because Charlie and Molly came trotting up before long.

"Dude, what the frack?!" Charlie hissed as Molly licked the side of his face. Cas lifted his head up, eyes wide and wet, and Charlie's expression instantly changed. She dropped down next to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Whoa, okay, you just sit tight buddy. I'll take care of it. Okay?" Cas just nodded. Charlie got up and ruffled his hair before continuing down the hallway. He heard them push through the double doors, followed by the muffled squeals of excitement from Mary and Dean's warm, rich laughter.

This was not how it was supposed to go. Cas was supposed to be in control of his reactions and emotions, and yet here he was acting like a damn 15 year old girl. Dean had looked him in the eye, spoke kindly and warmly, and done nothing even remotely untoward. All while his wife and child, whom he clearly loved and doted on, were in the same room. And yet...Cas still felt the inexorable pull of an unnamed something between them. Was this just how he was wired now? Was he only going to be drawn to unavailable men? Or maybe he was just drawn to this one man in particular, and his heart simply had no regard for the implausibility of the situation. He was so completely, utterly, hopelessly screwed.

Cas looked around the empty hallway and huffed a humorless laugh. "Well, shit" he breathed.


End file.
